Chinese foot binding for the chest
I always believed running wasn't for me, you see I'm one of those 'lucky' or 'unlucky' women that has big boobs. I say 'unlucky', you try carrying them around when you know that you can wear your bra cup as a hat if required. So you can probably imagine why I was put off running, Australian Beach Volley Ball it wasn't, fisticuffs and bruising for a slow three mile plod was closer to the mark. The advice for newbie runners is all about the trainers, got to have them fitted, got to have your gait looked at (not the one in your front garden), double skinned socks to help stop blisters and a good sports bra. For any woman who exercises this is very, very important indeed. I haven't been shopping for my sports bra, no, don't need to, you see what you need to do is to keep hold of the sports bra from about ten years ago, when you were a couple of sizes smaller. Clearly a shoe horn is helpful with this delicate operation but worth it. Regardless of the tatty, unsightly, fraying garment shouting above the sound of any T-Shirt I'm wearing, it does it's job, to a point. Here's the rub (snigger) the only way to achieve no movement, is going to need Chinese Foot Binding for the chest, and this in itself is going to cause a couple of issues. Number one, how long would it take to be bound? Would the whole running experience become one long winded dressing up game? Number two, how tight would the bandages need to be before oxygen is restricted and you keel over in the first 100 meters? I'm guessing, go with what you know, keep the old faithful going and visualise the future a little lighter, a bit more musclely and a little less bounce.
In Tiger fashion, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy . . .
Fun, fun, fun, fun . . . you get the drift. This heat that we've all been waiting for is here and it's hot. For a novice runner the heat is an added obstacle so this morning at 8.30am I lept from my bed Tiger like, donned my running gear and headed off to brave the May heat. Hot already at 9am on a Sunday morning, a very stark comparison to last Sunday when it was freezing, a slight exaggeration, but hey, don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. So I ran in the heat, the same route as last Sunday and I think I stopped less and I think physically it might have felt a little better but I'm not sure. As yet I haven't remembered to note down the time I leave and the time I arrive home but all in due course. I also haven't managed to weigh myself. I have some scales but I don't think they work. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking that the numbers the scales might show, I would completely deny and scoff at. You'd be wrong, what I mean is the scales don't even actually show any numbers . . . . I suppose I could take that as a positive? At the moment I'm focused on just getting out there, moving my legs in a forward motion and enjoying it. I'm also wallowing in the sense of pride that I'm starting to feel about me, a slow growing feeling that I will actually achieve the 10 miles and do it well, but more importantly that I will properly love myself for it.
And I challenge you not to smile to yourself if you say 'Bongadongs'.